Thursday, March 28, 2013

Claustrophobic Peace


This spontaneously written piece captures the mixed sense of feelings that I feel when made to sit through hours and hours of academic inputs in the academy training. It may be childish, yet it does justice to a part of me. 

....................

Oh what is left here for me to see
Wen my future lies somewhere so far from thee

I am quieter than i have ever been
Accepting no one as close to me

I cant see why this is so necessary
Why to waste the time that is so costly

Please let me go, you heartless procedure!
Let me embrace the reality

Let me see how wise i have become
Give me challenges that matter to them

Maybe somewhere i see why this is
Maybe it is too cruel for me to accept

Still it doesn't douse the angst i feel
For the pain is real in these tests from high above..


Marriage: the Institutional Arrangement...Part 1


This is something I wrote on 2nd February, 2013.

.....................................

They say i have topped the social chasm
They say this is the  next step

The apt step;
Immune to procrastination
The step that leads to collective orgasm

But how shall i show them as vividly as i see
How crucial it is for me to be free
To fly like an eagle in the sky
Without any care for the crying boy

The only delay mechanism i own
Is the reason that is all known
That i may have reached the end of the room
Yet,
It needs psychological grooming to be a groom

I come to meet the one,
The one to bond,
My socially short-listed, numerological match
Of this life and those beyond...

I don't know what i shall say to thee,
How do i judge or how do i flee?

What game is it, please let me know
How do i sense which line to tow!

How do i tell you what needs to be told
Yet squeeze it into a digestible mould

Here is what i thought of it-
It may be apt, it may be fit
 it's not an adventure in my personal fold

But,Now i see what wasn't told...

It's about offering myself and the child within
To someone whom i have never seen

What a precarious game these societies play
It makes me shiver in the day...

How can i assure this little one its peace
Where will  life's surety be?

Maybe, this life is not meant to be sure
Its just an endless journey to the elusive shore

Aah! 
I need to forget these fears and the glooms they pour,
And reach out to discover that shore!
......................................

Thursday, March 21, 2013

BITS and Pieces of the Past


It seemed preposterous at first – spending 30 hours on road, on a well-deserved weekend, to spend less than 24 hours in our alma mater.

Yet, it happened – we found ourselves packed in hired cabs, negotiating the curves of Mussourie and the potholes of UP to finally land in that patch of desert where much of our lives were molded.

The SAC ambiance gave a sense as if

 I was here only yesterday 
It was a complicated experience as it ignited different feelings in each one of us; the feelings that consistently flickered and replaced each other through each passing moment. As for me, the initial burst of excitement soon gave way to fatigue which was subtly transformed into wonder about how things that seem so commonplace today, were so pivotal then.

As is usually the tendency, each batch tends to highlight its uniqueness and give wings to its vanity by proving that things have only worsened since it graduated. Needless to say, we were not immune to this J, and with our newly acquired bakar skills (courtesy the UPSC exam) we could easily justify how pivotal we had been to the institution as we knew it.

So while each one of us spelled out his/her theses of exactly how things have taken a fall, it was interesting to observe the changes that had slowly crept in over the past few years.

The Dug Up C Lawns where even photography is prohibited
The “crowd” looked just as we had left it – extremely casual (read sloppy) dressing sense, similar faces and the same unmistakably unique BITSian lingo. The campus had undergone a number of infrastructural modifications – from the more sanitized REDIs to the completely dug up C lawns, but despite all this the feel of the campus, as we knew it, was intact.

The interaction that we had with the BITSian junta and others who happened to eavesdrop was unexpectedly exciting. We were all expecting half-interested crowd of less than 20, who would (in a typical BITSian manner) walk out as soon as we became boring. But what greeted us was a hall brimming with people who were bubbling with excitement and filled with queries. It was a wonderful experience with each one of us giving gyan in his/her peculiar style.

With NVM Sir  - Revisiting The Old Times
Meeting NVM sir and other faculty members was also a reminder of the fact that nothing has changed – for what makes an institution is not its buildings but the people.

Overall, it was a well-timed closure to the intense love-hate relationship that I shared with the college that has had a larger than life impact on me.
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