Tuesday, May 30, 2023

Seductions of a Drive

Do you loathe the idea of a long drive on the pothole infested Indian roads? I did. When my comfortable SUV maneuvered the PWD patchworks on the tarred and tired roads, I couldn’t stop cursing at the abrupt obstructions from my bovine fellow-citizens. But of late I am beginning to notice a subtle transformation.

On some days, when the chaos of conflicting demands in the work sphere seems too stifling, I grab the easiest excuse to go for a car-ride. A ride gives me a sense of motion to a destination. A vague sense of purpose, where there was none. I can drop my sense of control in the musical numbness of the cozy cabin. It is relaxing to trust the chauffeur with full control of my journey. The presence of the outside world gets restricted to the fleeting flickers framed by the windowpanes. It's seductive. The numbness of being driven around while evading the pressing questions that my being faces.

But the evasion doesn't last long. As I stare out at the world in a meditative trance, the smoky clouds of numbness always eventually part. Allowing for clarity to dawn and birthing of perceptions that separate my truths from my lies. The conflicts that had gripped me were a psychological mess created by the desires that did not serve me and the commitments that were inordinate with my current capabilities. The cramped car interiors and the shrunken world view in it hardly offer any space for the body and mind to run. This helps me to look at the conflicts of my desires and commitments and reach a middle ground. Thus, allowing me to move beyond my wants and to identify my needs. For what is life, if not the eternal confusion between what one wants and what one needs.

A few minutes of a road-trip and I emerge out of the car as a much surer being. Sure, of what to do and of what to say no to. This surety paves a path for action in the fuzzy chaos of work.

It fascinates me that so much can happen in a moving vehicle. So much, that can change the course of many lives, can happen in the seductive comfort of a moving vehicle. Come to think of it, this very Earth that we call home is itself a perpetually circling vehicle of the cosmos. So much can happen here. So much.

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