Oh Baby My!

When life gives you a choice,
Betwixt licking your wounds 
& Prepping for the fight,
Oh baby my! Give the healing to time,
To the next adventure you dance along!

When life gives you a choice,
Betwixt hating the fools,
& Letting the garbage go by,
Oh baby my! Bid the hate good bye,
To the next adventure you dance along!

When life gives you a choice,
Betwixt a thick dark frown
& A big fat smile,
Oh baby my! Don't think before you laugh,
To the next adventure you dance along!

When you feel that only one way lies,
That life wants you to feel low & dry,
Oh baby my! Trust these words of mine,
A choice hides close by, 

To dance as life's adventure carries on!

PS- A random scribble at the airport as I return to Raipur after seeing Niyati and our week-old Zen.

That Match-Winning Feeling!

It's a burst. Sometimes a sprinkle, sometimes a blast. The intensity may vary - but it inevitably comes as a splash of naughty excitement and release of a lot of feel good hormones. The hormones that tell me to let go and permit myself to do something crazy - something forbidden.

It's that sense of victory. Like the podium finish that makes one eligible for a bucket filled tumbler of chocolate ice-cream. 

To an untrained and unprepared mind this feeling may be difficult to handle. A difficulty similar to one faced by a rookie bar-owner handling a victor football team fresh after their win. The indebted bar-owner faces brawling musclemen loaded with rebelliousness. If he doesn't handle them well - he will soon have a ruckus of fist fights and a broken property. But, if he handles their excitement and heightened energy levels well, it's good for business. 
He has to channelize the team members' rebellious spirits. Giving them a sense of reward can help them feel acknowledged and appreciated. A round of on-the-house beers can easily do the trick. While the blood alcohol levels rise, he can subtly nudge the sportsmen to relax. He can then hope that their violence will pacify as they enter the space of energetic relaxation. As simple an idea as exclusive access to TV can do the trick. When energies relax, a person naturally tilts towards accepting his desire of a good night's sleep. This good night's sleep is what every one is really looking for. Sleep is the taste of death in the otherwise super intense activity filled life. Life with many roles and roleplays. 

I am often the cash-strapped bar owner timidly handling a high which makes my mind behave like those drunk sportsmen. This high, which may be artificially or meditatively induced, needs aware handling. I need to acknowledge and pat my hormonally-loaded sportsmen on their metaphoric backs while handling them a few beers, all the while, nudging them to sleep. Because it's  a good night's sleep that they really crave for. 
After all, our football stars understand that they have just won the local county match - it is the FIFA world cup that they are aiming for. They can't lose their balance with small wins... 

इमारतों के आँसू

ख्वाहिश है आँसुओं की,
यह चाहत रो पड़ने की,
सम्बन्ध नहीं इनका सुख या दुःख से,
माध्यम हैं खुद को मिटा देने के...
 
मेरा दिल है जो टूटने से डरता है,
अपने झूठे अस्तित्व को संजोने वाला,
एक अंश है मेरा,
जो बिखरने से झिझकता है...
 
आज मैंने जो अपने महादेव को है पुकारा,
विनाश हो गया जो अपना माना था मैंने सारा,
टूट गयीं अहम की बनावटी इमारतें,
उनके टुकड़े भी मेरे आँसुओं में बह गए...
 
शम्भो  !

PS: It's a blessing to be able to cry in the presence of one's Guru. It releases one's karmic baggage and is probably the most transformational experience a seeker can ask for. 

Carpe Diem

You ask how would I be,

If this day were to be my last?

I would,

Keep nothing back,

Would have fuelled everything,

Given all of me in the blast of life...

 

I would,

Move past my feeble mind's, timid excuses,

Wouldn't trade for anything,

That which is truly Divine...

 

I would,

Protect the flame within me,

Protect the fire, that burns my mental shackles,

Allowing my surrender to the infinite Universe...

 

I would,

Drop these colours of the ego,

In the Ocean of life, so vast,

Effortlessly surfing, on the waves of daunting tasks...

PS - Being in touch with one's own mortality, is the biggest blessing one can ask for. 

UnFuckWithAble

You mistake it as children's stuff,

This tricky play of crests and troughs…

As the cold sea breeze hits the soaring waves,

One has to know when to ride and when to wait…

When the ocean is your guru, you might forget,

This game's point is not to get mighty wet…

You should soar above the waves so high,

Life's dreams and visions make you fly…

Lost in your Guru's loving grace,

Judging nothing, no person or place,

Skate smoothly over any karmic whirlpool,

You're better than any memory-hugging sinking fool…

Doesn’t matter who made the karmic puddle in jest,

On my dear ocean Guru's chest,

Smoothly do I stay aboard and continue to surf,

No matter who or what tries to rock my home turf…

The Arrow Pulled Back

Green is the color of my devil,

It's not that he is always evil,

It's not the wind's fault that the boat is shaking,

It's actually the misaligned sails' making…

The permission i have  given to the weakest thought,

The permission to be heard and acted upon without being fought,

This permission is shaking the ship's fulcrum,

Not allowing the conditions to be set at optimum,

Conditions that allow for the divine seed to grow,

Conditions that will make life effortlessly flow...

Can feel the resistance within me to play the angel,

My bad experience of ego's dangerous angles,

But Look around and feel the moment my friend,

It's only a mental role play to make life's choices bend,

Approach each moment, revering my mortality,

Invoke Shiva to destroy all that's mine, with brutality…

Surrender my friend, surrender, for it is the only way to go,

Intoxicating yourself will only make the inner confusion grow,

It messes up each time with the vaayu* and the jal* elements of the body,

Leaves me dehydrated and craving for making everything shoddy,

I really want to escape this messy chaos in my head,

The enormous weight makes me wish I was dead…

I was feeling like a child left alone by his Guru,

I realize it was a pot where victim consciousness brew,

For Nitin Bhaiya* had clearly warned me of these,

The conniving victim and the guilty thief,

Kaan Pakad lena* ! Did he say with a broad beautiful smile,

I still feel he's here, but it's been quite a while…

I am still that intense boy, with intentions pure,

Why allowing a thought to make my dream vision obscure,

My ajna* can filter the thought at least,

And deny it the opportunity to become a beast,

For me, the focus of my time on earth is clear,

I find happiness in moments when i have nothing to spare,

Nothing to spare, for everything i have is thrown in the fire of life,

Lovingly nourishing roots and shoots of lifeplants of me and my wife…

Green is the color of my devil,

It's not that he is always evil,

For now, off this bag of greens go,

I'll play with the thoughts like a pro,

Dopamine will be released through tick list and DC stars,

Ways that relax and please without leaving their scars,

For me each moment of Life is a perfect gift,

I've to smilingly surf over its troughs and cliffs…

PS-
*vaayu - air element in the Pancha Bhoota
*jal - the water element in the Pancha Bhoota
*Nitin Bhaiya - Rishi Nityapragya from Art Of Living who was the guide in the Divya Samaaj Nirman Course I did in 2010
*Kaan Pakad Lena - apologise to the master for getting trapped in the mental mess and making wrong identifications and move on
*Ajna - The Third Eye Chakra on the forehead that is also the seat of Prefrontal cortex of the brain, responsible for rational decision making

Samyama

The word Samyama dates back to Patanjali and it means different things to different people, but the recent turn of events in my life has changed what this word means for me forever. It is the process where I was virtually taken out of my worldly life settings by an unparalleled power and soaked in the grace and love of a deeply compassionate being. Only to be thrown back again in the worldly mess once the lure of the latter began to dissolve. It was an experience infinitely greater than my own being's capacity to fathom, comprehend and leave alone express. Yet, here is an attempt - 

Out of the blue you called this terrible fool,

As he tore out of his claustrophobic body,

Is when you threw him back to the Karmic whirlpool…

You invoked the Mahadev to destroy this creature,

His karmic body did experience a tiny fissure,

Through this very hole he tasted his real nature…

Twelve years long solar cycle wasted in outward search,

One moment you took to show that he was only dirt…

Perhaps his karmas had not earned him a longer stay,

But the tears of clarity made him understand his ways,

It is the breath that he has to spend his time with,

Clean his windshield that is splattered with karmic bullshit…

No use to paint stories on this shit smeared window, 

Patiently tending to the roots and shoots of the seed is the only way it will grow…

2015: Silence and Six Pack

There's so much that I want to be

Yet i cant see how to proceed,

Mentally fickle I have been,

Never letting blossoming of the being...

I need to break these notional shackles,

It needs a strong will for them to be tackled...

Time has come for me to reach,

For the innermost center of mental peace...

As I see inside,

So do I see,

A zeal to change and be free...

Tired of the mind I have been,

A silent breeze leads me to the being...

Away from the numbing comforts it makes me run,

Till the inner mysteries are undone...

Time to live the life I so dearly love,

While connecting with the one above..

So I sit here seeking fresh new years' resolutions,

When it dawns there are no ready made solutions...

The meditative soul will give this body sheen,

Allowing self growth that's so pristine...

An year to remember it'll surely be, 

This year, this 2015...