I am standing at the sea shore, looking at the waves - which come in flying one instant and then leave the next. I am trying to understand the nature of the water by looking at the waves. It is hard for me to identify a wave, or to attach an identity to any of the water gushes- It is hard for me to predict when a gush will come and how strong it will be and why? It is hard for me to be sure that any of the water gushes will ever be mine. I remain deluded of the feeling of completeness that i desire to seek. I remain aloof to the understanding that i wanted to own.
Somewhere below the waves, the water is less entropied, it does move back and forth periodically but there is a sense of stillness in it- there is a sense of belonging to its 'place'.
Somewhere further below, the water is still, home to the beautiful aquatic life of the sea, but unconcerned with the water gushes that exist above, i know that the latter exist because i remember they do - there is no impact of the latter on the water here.
Somewhere further below, there is the land. The base of the ocean - one that sustains the entire ocean's weight and makes it possible for the water (now thousands of feet above) to gush. The land is what enables everything else in the ocean to be as it is - it is the one which will sustain any changes in the ocean's activity. It is the strength bearer.
A boat, in the middle of the ocean, which can see a distant island somewhere, but is at the mercy of the waves to take it there. It moves forward and backward with each of the water gushes, it prays to the 'Ocean God' for favourable gushes, it is concious of every movement of the water, but it is aware that it plays no part in it.It can sense helplessness deep down somewhere within itself. For this boat, it's entire existence is dependant completely upon those gushes, which (it has convinced itself so) it feels are controlled by the 'Ocean God'. Praying to the ocean god, does help the boat, get in touch with its innermost feeling of heplessness - and it thus makes it feel better - but it doesnt give it the sense of completeness. Even when the boat is sailing, it is concious and possibly afraid of what the next water gush will bring. In all its decisions, there is a degree of uncertainity. Even when it thinks that it is sure of itself - it is actually, relying on the prayers or the imaginary 'trust' on the ocean gods. When there is a happy wave in the water , the boat feels glad and prays to the god to continue sending such tremors. When there is a tide in the water, the boat shivers to the core - and prays to the ocean god not to repeat the same. In actuality, the boat has lived each and every kind of tide already, through its fears.
A boat,in the middle of the ocean, which can see a distant island somewhere. It is rocking forward and backward with the waves, but in its continuous movements, there is a sense of direction - its direction of movement heads straight to the island of destiny. The boat has a strong anchor dug deep into the ocean's surface. The boat derives power from the ocean's surfce through the anchor. The ocean's surface through which all the waves,tides,aquatic life derive their power - serves as the source of power for the boat. The boat plays with the waves, when there is a good wave, the boat uses it to its own advantage - when there is a devastating tide, the boat holds on to its anchor and waits for the tide to settle and then continues its journey towards the island of destiny. The boat also , sometimes use its connection to the surface to change the nature of the waves themselves. The boat never feels itself to be at the mercy of the waves. It knows tht the waves derive the power from the same thing as the boat itself. It can drop the conciousness of the motion of water when it so desires. It has no fear to offer to the waves. It knows that the waves don't matter. The process of sailing and being in the moment does. It doesn't feel the desire to pray for good waves or for lesser tides. It believes in its own anchor. When it is shaken by a strong tide. It goes back and fixes its anchor - when eveything is shattered for real (and not in fear), it goes back and maintains the connection. When everything is goos and the good waves are flowing - it relaxes while at the same time deriving the power to rejoice from its connection to the ocean's surface. It entertains itself by casual thoughts that 'it owns the waves', it feels that the 'ocean is his own', it feels powerful at times. It is proud. Whereas in some deeper times of thoughtfulness, it knows that the only real thing is the connection it has with the ocean's surface. The only thing which differentiates it from the other 'mercy-seeking' boats is its ability to sustain that connection. It knows that no amount of prayer will enable it to sustain that connection, the latter can only be done through his own hard work and wisdom. By training its own self and by maintaining the connection of the anchor to the pulley lying on the boat's deck, as it is important. It understands it. The moments in which the 'mercy-seeking' boat used to feel helpless, this boat works to strengthen his power and charts out plans to reach the island of destiny.
There is a different sense of being in both the boats, although both may seem to be sailing on top of the incessantly roaring waves - both have a different sense of individualities.
Now i feel the sense of completeness which i so desired standing on the sea shore.
