The GodFather

• There was this young guy - who was lost in his own thoughts, he got so weary of thinking the course of life that he decided to give up on every endeavor of his. He just couldn't fit the random aspirations of his mind into one concrete thing which he can point out to and say "this is to be done now".

• Busy figuring what had happened to him - he was reminded of how people often come to him and ask "what should i do next" - how they call it "counseling" and benefit from the process. This reminded him - he has never resorted to something like that - he was always too sure about himself.

• A few more thoughts here and there and the guy was convinced that he does need "counseling" by someone.

• The immediately obvious and the more daunting question to follow was "Who?"

• Now this was a problem. Counseling implies that he should be ready to listen to the other guy - in a matter which touches the core of his being.

• He got his answer - there is only one guy who can do this.

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"Professional life is a staircase - you CAN'T reach the topmost without crossing the ones which lead to it"
- the sentence which ignited the long-awaited fire.

The young guy's thought process after meeting him -

I don't care whether what this person says is right or wrong, whether it will lead me to bliss or will deepen my abyss - all I know is that I will do exactly what he wants me to do - no matter what it takes - no matter what I have to do to myself in the process.

What makes me feel that for him? Is it just earth-shattering trust which has given me reason enough to just submit myself to him? Is it love? What is it?

I know I don't need an answer - I am not looking for one.
It is this feeling of trust and self-submission that has made me feel the most intimate moments that i have spent with myself. Which had once brought a stage when I could feel the power that I can reshape the entire world the way i want to see it.
I can now understand why so many people pray.

I now know what it means to call someone "GodFather"

NewFoundMe -IsItAPOGEE ??

I remember as a kid, writing "Dear Diary" to my personal notebook, now that notebook has taken a more digitised form but the writer is still a kid, getting excited by every new wave of emotion. So let's see what we have in store -

There is this tiny something which has been giving me tiny sensations of pleasure and a hidden minuscule fear questioning its persistence- it is a feeling that i have matured :)
In my adolescence i told myself once - 'dude there are hundreds of things to see, feelings to be felt - so stop clinching with the most boring ones.' This self-talk didn't help me then, but i see it taking shape now. It may be a result of ten days of pure managerial work (with no "academic responsibilities" in picture :P ) that brought this or it may be the most important decision I have taken of late (mystified :D) - that has done it.
It is neither - I think this is one stage that had to come, that had been preparing itself since a long time, it's just that it has manifested itself now. I don't call this new found sensibility a "phase" of life - rather i choose to call it a "stage" - it is like a platform - upon which i stand now and upon which will i decide the course of my remaining life. As I said - the fear does exist - just as it does for any other good thing - but accompanying it is a self-formed belief that "this is to stay".

I remember a close friend telling me "corruption is extending your right over something which is not 'rightfully' yours" - what he forgot mentioning was that the decision of its 'rightful ownership' is something which you take yourself - and don't let others decide and tell you. --I have been toying with certain things of late, maybe my next post will say something about it.